As you reach your half-century and the children have left home, now is the time to re-establish your relationship with your partner and, crucially, ensure your health, says Max Tomlinson

The big 50 is here. Congratulations are in order. Once the celebrations have died down, we can put your newly detoxed soul through its paces.

In your twenties, the very idea that you would one day be 50 seemed to be the ramblings of pre-senile dementia. In your thirties and forties, you were too busy to see the approaching half-century. Now that you have reached such a venerable age, it might be time to take a look at how things have panned out.

Health and wellbeing must now be a priority, and we will have a closer look at your health needs later. The children are leaving home, through choice or a gentle push, and you are in the process of rediscovering your spouse or partner.

It is amazing how you can live with someone for so long and yet not have the time or energy to stay in touch, to keep relating. It can be a big old empty house without the cacophony of teenagers, but this might just be the perfect opportunity to rekindle the old flames.

Enjoy it, and take your time about it. Don't rest on your laurels, but certainly admire them. Looking after yourself and your relationships will bring with it a host of benefits. Lonely old age starts here if you are not prepared to keep talking and growing.

Cherish and respect those people who are closest to you. Ask yourself: "Do you have a best friend and, if you do, does that person know just how important he or she is to you?"

 
HEALTH

A good starting point has to be your present health status. At this age you are acutely aware of the old saying "Health is wealth".

All the money in the world cannot buy you a return to vibrant wellbeing once illness has established its hold. Health has to be maintained.

You have worked so hard to make a living, putting aside money for later in life. You have given so much to your children to ensure their happiness. It would be such a pity if your body and health let you down in the future because you did not take care now. A round of golf when you have arthritic joints is just not the pleasure you imagined it to be.


10 QUESTIONS FOR 50-SOMETHINGS

Do you take good care of your body?

Are your teeth and gums in good condition? Do you see the dentist and hygienist regularly?

Are you receiving proper, effective care and treatment for any health problems, with regular reviews of your medications?

What is your blood pressure (normal is about 120/80)?

Do you have a normal pulse rate (about 70 beats per minute)?

Do you pay attention to what you are eating and do you really understand the importance of a balanced, healthy diet?

Are you aware of the role that nutritional supplements can play in maintaining long-term health?

Are you abusing your body with too much alcohol or drugs?

Are you able to relax, or are you unable to do so because something is causing physical or emotional pain?

Do you take regular holidays or short breaks?

This is an interesting exercise and a very important one. So many of us imagine we are 10ft tall and bullet-proof when it comes to our health. We are not and we do need to pay attention to our wellbeing.

Use a little of your new year's energy to put in place a health-maintenance plan. It is far easier to maintain health than it is to try to fix a health problem once it has taken hold.


RELATIONSHIPS

With the children gone or going, you have time again to focus on your partner. Years of sacrificing time as a couple for the sake of looking after the children has perhaps taken a toll.

Your relationship might now be based on familiarity and routine, rather than the more romantic and personal aspects of a healthy partnership.

Questions for couples

Do you regularly have time just with your partner?

Are you just best friends or is the spark still there?

Do you have shared interests?

Is your love life satisfying to both of you?

Do you talk to each other at nights or just watch television?

Are you closer to work colleagues or friends than to your partner?

Do you share a similar vision for your future together?

Are you both set in your ways or are you still both adventurous and playful?

Do you strive to get the most enjoyment out of life together?

Take what you need from this section and, with the wisdom engendered by your years, make any necessary changes. It is always good to bear in mind that your retirement years will be so much richer if you work at this stage to grow and develop your relationship with your partner.

Turn the television off and go have a fabulous meal together and talk. You owe each other this opportunity after all these years. Getting to know each other can be a journey full of surprises.


SINGLETONS

If you are single, through choice or circumstances, some of the same questions apply. Now is perhaps a good time in your life to reacquaint yourself - both with yourself with you, and with those close to you.

Divorce can leave big holes in your life. Ruined dreams, broken trust and loneliness eat away at what little energy you have. Repairing your soul and working to heal the past, by mending fences with past loves and restoring your sense of self-worth, can liberate energy and help you move on.

The anger, pain and confusion caused by a broken relationship - untimely death is possibly even more devastating - are hard to get over, but move on we must, heal we must, if we are to function as complete people again.

FAMILY FOCUS

We have touched on children and the bittersweet joy that comes as they grow and move away and into their own lives. Grown children can bring so much joy to our lives as they include us in their unfolding stories.

It is worth examining your relationship with them, to ensure that it is, in fact, a close one with nothing in the way to force you apart. They are precious to you and will become increasingly so as you grow old. Work with them to make this statement true: "I am very close to my children." A clear, close relationship with your children will ensure a joyful, energised future.

Your own parents will be getting on a bit now. If you have one or both parents alive, you are in a fortunate position. Spending time with them and hearing their stories is bound to bring you closer.

Our relationship with our own parents has to be one of the most formative and enduring in our lives. Renewing it regularly by showing interest in them as thinking, loving and evolving people is good for both us and them.

As the young ones fly the coop, it might be nice to revisit the old ones, using your renewed, detoxed energy to rekindle old flames.

MICHAEL GARRY'S DAILY EXERCISE PLAN

So you have hit the big five zero. Think you can wind down? Then think again. During this decade, it is absolutely pivotal that you continue to keep moving so that your muscles remember what they are supposed to be doing and don't seize up. If that happens, you are only going to experience pain and discomfort.

Not only will regular exercise keep you mobile but it will also keep energy levels up and help ward off any mid-life-crisis depression. Working out will also ease symptoms of the menopause, such as weight gain, lack of concentration and hot flushes. My favourite stress-busting exercises are yoga, which also increases flexibility, Pilates, which is great for core stability, and t'ai chi.

This is the best time to seek professional advice from a personal trainer. Too many people give up on exercise because of an injury caused by not working out in a safe way. If you can't afford professional advice, there are ways to better protect yourself from damage.

Make sure that you do 10 minutes of stretching every day, whether you are working out or not. Doing this for five minutes first thing in the morning and last thing at night will help increase flexibility and mobility. When you exercise, do extended warm-ups and cool-downs. Leg raises, knee lifts and waist and arm rotations are all great, and can be incorporated into a workout such as jogging or walking by slowing down your pace. Do one set of eight to 10 squats, back extensions and hamstring and bicep curls three times a week to give your body strength and thus minimise your chances of injuring yourself.

When it comes to cardiovascular exercise, if you have been working out regularly, you can carry on doing almost any type of activity. Except if you have picked up any injuries, then you should avoid high-impact sports. If your exercise history is less than exemplary, don't panic. Walk or jog for 30 minutes, three times a week, making sure that you are working at about 60 per cent of your heart rate. Cycling is also great, because you can incorporate it into your everyday routine by using a bicycle to go to the shops or to work.

Finally, if the thought of going to the gym with lithe young people makes you feel self-conscious, many fitness centres run over-fifties classes. But on the other hand, I have plenty of clients in their sixth decade who like nothing more than getting on to the gym floor and showing those 20-year-olds what they are made of.

Tip
How to work out your heart rate for cardiovascular training: 220 - your age x 0.6 = heart rate you should have when exercising

 
YOUR COMPLETE SIX-WEEK EXERCISE PLAN

Weeks one to three

Moderate walking three times a week for 15 to 30 minutes, depending on how fit you are feeling. Always remember to take rest days in between walks.

Twice a week on rest days, implement your strength training programme. On each rest day, mix upper and lower body exercises by doing the following:

Upper body

·                     Press-ups

·                     Back extensions

·                     Bicep curls

·                     Shoulder presses and crunches

Lower body

·                     Calf raises

·                     Lunges and squats

Do eight to 10 repetitions of each, rising to two sets of eight to 10 if you feel stronger in the third week.

 

Weeks four to six

It’s time to get running, gently upping your levels as follows:

Week four: Run for intervals of two to three minutes every five minutes for up to half an hour, depending on how fit you are.

Week five: Run for intervals of five to 10 minutes, every five minutes, for half an hour.

Week six: Congratulations, you should be hitting your first mile as you increase to running for intervals of 10 minutes (a mile should take you between 10 and 12 minutes). You should be feeling healthier, fitter, stronger, and in another six weeks you could be running your first 5km race.